Synchronicities and Manifestation Part Two

Hello world. I hope you are well. If you are not, I send you lots of love. Something I like to remind myself about when I am going through a hard moment is this: It is only temporary. Whatever the hard or painful thing is that you are experiencing, it is only temporary. Lots of hugs to you.

Now, if you haven't read my previous post titled 'Synchronicities', I recommend you do that before reading this one (for context). It just helps to understand the whole journey. But, you certainly don't have to! As always, thanks for reading!

After my first "see it to believe it" moment (manifesting unexpected money), I wrote in my manifestation journal that I wanted to manifest confidence. I wanted confidence to be my authentic self, to share myself and all my passions and joy with the world. I wanted the confidence to share my artwork without fear of what others might say, and I wanted confidence to be seen. These things are what I have always struggled with and I didn't want to anymore. I have always felt very envious of others who put themselves out there and who show that they don't care what others think (at least on the outside), and are not afraid to do it with joy.

I have always struggled with my looks. As children, we pick on one another. Sometimes this can have lasting effects. I can remember being picked on for how I look. I wasn't pretty enough, or looked a certain way, or had the "right style" of clothes etc. As I got older and grew into my features more, I recall being picked on for my nose. This has been a very negative belief for me and I have always been very self conscious of my profile. I had been led to believe that my nose was too big and shaped in a way that wasn't as flattering as others (social conditioning).

Photo taken by Sally Carpenter.

Once that negative belief about myself took root in my subconscious, I always wanted my photos to be taken head on. No profile photos. I have also always been hyper aware and critical of my looks. I became afraid to be seen. I also recall feeling stupid in school because I didn't know the answer to a question, or I didn't do something good enough and some kids were praised for their work while I felt left to wonder why my work wasn't as good. These things happened at school and at home, just in different ways. This led to not feeling good enough, or thinking I didn't have what it takes.

This is me at about age 6. I was painfully shy. I am still shy about some things, but back then I would cry if asked a question.

One part of manifesting, as I have already mentioned, is this "see to believe" idea. I think it works and it personally helps me. In the To Be Magnetic work, there are 'Expanders'. These are the people who already have what you are wanting to manifest. Even if they don't have the whole package, they have part of what you want, and they serve as motivation and inspiration. You can see that your manifestation IS possible.

For me, the Expanders I wrote down in my journal for calling in confidence to share my art and put myself out there, and unafraid to be seen, are: Jonna Jinton, Autumn Skye, Maia Toll, Lacy Phillips, and Niki Reed. I have more Expanders for other areas of my life, but these ladies serve this part of my life I wanted to focus on for confidence, being seen, and being heard, especially when it came to my artwork and being on camera. I admire all of them and I see myself in each one in different ways.

You know, I think the older you get the more tired you become of putting up with your own bullshit. At this point in my manifestation journey/TBM work, I was getting to this point. Right now, a year after I embarked on this path, I am not willing to settle for anything but my authentic self. I am unwilling to hide. I am tired of not sharing what I love. I am tired of being fearful of showing myself. I am tired of not doing what brings me joy. I am tired of being in my comfort zone!

Photo by Sally Carpenter.

We wear masks in different areas of our lives to suit what we think others want to see or experience from us. We can behave one way with our family, another way with certain friends and differently with other friends. We behave differently at work or in various social settings. I think this can make it difficult to know who we truly are. Our authentic selves.

Through the unblocking meditations in TBM I have been able to step more fully into my authentic self. I have been rewiring my neural pathways to heal those traumas and conditions that I picked up in childhood. Let me just tell you...the first couple times I did this I had tears streaming down my face! Afterwards, I would start pinpointing all the moments throughout my childhood that created these negative beliefs I had been carrying around. Then I would do a hypnosis meditation for each block that would come up. I still do!

By unblocking and "seeing to believe" I have gone through shift after shift in my beliefs about myself and my energy. I began doing more of the things that call to me and not accepting things that are not aligned with who I am. This also has to do with setting boundaries, which is a whole other topic! Now, I am taking step after step towards the things I have always wanted. I am not fully there yet, but it's the action that matters. I am stepping out of my comfort zone and I don't feel as scared as I used to be. I am not willing to settle anymore. I feel more supported by the Universe and my guides. I am manifesting!

I am creating a digital marketing income stream and sharing my artwork. I am stepping through the fear of "what if nobody likes what I have to offer?" and "I'm not good enough" and "I don't have what it takes." These are the limiting beliefs I have been carrying around with me for most of my life. These are what have kept me from going after what I want, and being scared of being seen or heard, and not sharing what I have to offer. This fear has led to procrastination, turning down opportunities, playing small, not speaking up or showing myself.

If there is one thing I want my readers to know it's this: Only you can offer what you have. There is only one of you and that makes what you have to offer in this life special.

That is all for now. Take care and don't settle!

Until next time...